Saturday, January 21, 2012

Going to Therapy

If you follow my beauty blog Weighing Down on Beauty, then you know a little bit of what has been going on with me. I have been through a pretty bad break up and had to move out a live on my own (which I have no idea how to do), but I am slowly learning and you can read my initial post on my blog about it, Jess, where the hell have you been?

Well, after everything, I feel a bit more settled with finally being on my own. I have decide to go to therapy. It was a hard decision, but I have terrible anxiety and panic attacks at the oddest times, when I feel I should not be having them. I am on some medication, but I do not want to rely on them fully (I will discuss them more in future posts if anyone is interested)

I did notice (with help of my first therapy session) that I have a hard being my own best friend. I think I trust other people more than I trust my own judgement sometimes. A lot of it has to do with how I was treated in my 11 year relationship. He made me second guess myself a lot and never dropped any mistakes I made. If I made a mistake, I would that person "who makes that certain mistake" forever. I make a lot of mistakes, yes I am flawed lol. So those mistakes I always heard about and I became SUPER hard on myself and always afraid to make mistakes.

So this is what I plan on focusing, learning how to be a friend to myself. I plan on blogging on how my therapy sessions are going and some tips I may learn. I also plan on blogging more about my past relationship in hoping to help women, who were in a unhealthy relationship like me see it more clearly. My ex was manipulative and controlling and I did not see it at all, but my friends told me after the break up that he was and even with explanations of my relationship to my therapist she said the same thing.

Hopefully, I can help someone. Let me know if there are topic you would like me to discuss or feel free to share your own stories in the comment section.

5 comments:

  1. As I've said many a time in many a place ...

    The things others say about us pales in comparison to what we say about ourselves. If we were our own best friends, we'd kick our own arse.

    I wish you the very best on your journey, I look forward to reading about your insights along the way.

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  2. Hi Jess, going to therapy is great! I wish it didn't have the silly stigma. I was dumped by a guy who sounds similar to your ex in the past and ended up needing therapy for an eating disorder. I was having panic attacks and was diagnosed with GAD. Eventually, I was able to taper off the meds and meet my husband :) Sometimes I fear those old patterns of panic and being too hard on myself and it often can take a toll on my marriage, but the (many) good times make it worth it to never give up. Hugs!

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  3. Thanks for the head up! Will keep this in mind
    Travesti

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